at kids football I asked one of the dads: āDave, did you get the score?ā
he replied: āthatās not my name?ā
I said: āsorry whatās your name again?ā
He replied: āDavid.ā
Is this a common thing people get upset about..? š¤
Discussion
hehehe. i'm mistaken for a girl sometimes. i used to feel the need to correct them, but nowadays I'm frequently found guilty of going with the flow. we all take our time to realise certain things
not sure how common it is, but I'd guess less than 50% common š
Iāve thought a lot about thisā¦
A name is a personal label. In a social realm, it is their very identity. Calling someone by a variation they did not offer can be an honest mistake, or it can be inconsiderate. Youāre stepping over a boundary of how they choose to present themselves in the world. So they are redrawing it for you.
Itās like giving someone a nickname. If itās not a term of endearment, or something that they appreciate, then itās just disrespectful.
there are 3 Dave/David dads and was an honest mistake.
he was super offendedš¤Æ
Well, in that case, itās unfortunate that he took offense. Thereās *probably* something else going on in his life at the moment. Or being called āDaveā is a special trigger for him, or whatever. You know what I mean? Not trying to psychoanalyze David from here, butā¦ maybe he just doesnāt like you, Dave! LOL.
šÆ he def. battling some demons. Iāve noticed his wife getting upset when he reacts to his son not getting things right on the field - THAT parent . And havenāt seen her back for most of the season.š
I get on well with all the other parents and the stunned look on some faces when he responded the way he did was evident.
Iāve never had a problem with David, but maybe I called him Dave one too many timesš
Yesterday, I saw a dad yelling at his son to clean up all the balls theyād hit on the baseball diamond and then lock up the field so he (the dad) could go meet up with some buddies at a bar, and the the sone should come find him later. The son was maybe 12 years old, and his body language indicated a resignation to this routine.
My heart sank. I wanted to say something the kidā¦ some words of support or just to let him know that his dadās anger had little to do with anything the son was responsible for.
Sports are supposed to be fun. Practicing alone on a Friday afternoon is supposed to be a sweet father-son bonding activity. This wasā¦not that.
I know this story is only barely related to yours, except that, in the end, I muttered the following under my breath as I walked away, which may be helpful to you, āNot my circus, not my monkeys.ā
Parenting is fucking hard, and it shows in the attitude of their childrenās body language.
The last thing you need to do is throw gasoline on a bonfireš