I am very out of shape. I feel super fat in my midsection and it doesn't help that I get bloated pretty much chronically. What really eats at my confidence though is the unfortunate bounce off consequences after I yoyoed from famine to feast in the winter solstice Christmas period in 2021 when I went into self-mastery over drive causing my body to freak out and basically gave myself belly cellulite. And I am just not at peace with it ever since.

I did a mucoid plaque release and liver and gallbladder flush where I fasted for 7 days only taking the small amounts of fermented fruit juice and other supplement ingredients that came with the program. At the same time I was also doing a 3 day all day long Kundalini yoga challenge with my teacher Jai Dev. I am pretty sure I was also on my moon and bleeding as well at that same time. It really wasn't ideal to do all of that all at the same time while on my moon and already in deep process. But it was a challenge during the big Saturn Jupiter conjunction and I was in it fully with cleansing and planting those new seeds, praying, setting intentions practicing with a worldwide sangha and stepping into that embodied self-mastery.

It was indeed an auspicious time. On the day of the conjunction, I ended up going to the exact same spot to star gaze and ran into Jai Dev and Simrit and their son. Other folks and community was there too and we watched the Star of Bethlehem that hadn't been sighted in 800 years.

Anyhow... I ended up becoming quite slim after fasting for 7 days and unfortunately what happened next was a feast after famine poorly managed stress response. Am I beating up on myself? It almost feels or sounds like it. Everytime I look at my naked body or wearing anything that might be slightly tight revealing that cottage cheese uneven muffin top. Not happy and sadly work out motivation has not been the easiest of things in the last 3 years for so many reasons I don't even know where to begin. Exercise has been way too sporadic. Nomad life hasn't helped.

I am glad spring is here now. I am making an effort today. Getting clear on what my beat move with resculpting, melting subcutaneous belly fat while building core strength and leg and butt muscles. Seems like that's what I am aiming toward. And I am just gonna have to learn to love and own the cellulite. Ugh.

Any body builders advice is super welcomed.