I still get excited when groceries arrive and when I tore the paper bag open I found… a single stick of celery that I did not order.

Celery is the vegetable that all the other vegetables don’t want to invite round for dinner. It brings nothing to the table. Watery bastard.

Celery and I have had a very distant relationship over the years. I know it’s part of the parsley family and parsley has such wonderful taste and brilliant presentation, but celery is the one vegetable that I have no interest in.

The universe has a rather good sense of humour - if you let it.