>Stock splits force updating the past since what was 1 BTC last year is now 100,000,000 BTC.

The BIP specifies maintaining 1 BTC as 1 BTC.

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Then why we suddenly have 2.1 quadrillion bitcoins?

Because in the BIP 1 BTC is 100 million Bitcoins. The BIP keeps the moniker "BTC" as a sort of tombstone for what is now called a Bitcoin.

Is this less confusing or is jack a deep state glowie using doublespeak?

Less confusing to who is the question. There are maybe100,00 people in the world who know what a Sat is.

Even general Bitcoin knowledge is pretty sparse. I'd guess 80% of the world's people have no idea what 1 bitcoin is worth. Like literally if you told them it was worth 100,000 dollars they'd go "oh okay" and if you told them it was worth 1 dollar they'd also go "oh okay".