Your ability to change yourself is limited.

We've been fed lies about how we can be or do anything we desire. Not only does this set us up for a life of disappointment, but it's making claims about our internal state that just aren't true.

Yes, there are people that have had dramatic changes both internally and externally. But that's much more the exception and not the rule. Most people have a limited range of change.

But because of this dumb pop psych belief, most people go for drastic changes and fail.

We need to be a lot more humble about change. That lets us be a lot more thankful when we improve instead of depressed when we aren't perfect.