1) Not every woman is called to marry. Law and culture should account for that.
2) Obedience is not something limited to wives or to women. Nobody in obedience should be powerless or spend all day "merely following orders". Subsidiarity is a worthy goal, everywhere.
3) Good husbands love their wives and help them form a sound conscience and grow in wisdom and knowledge, so that their wives can be a trusted steward.
4) Wives married to tyrannical or oppressive men run away or are grateful when their husbands die. Be the sort of husband who will be missed.