Identity theft would be the way to go there. Stealing a pirate ship is a pretty badass piratey way to become captain.

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The trick is to buy it through an LLC and them embezzle it. Lawyer-Pirate.

Too much suit.

Too little peg-leg and flint-lock.

The cornerstone of being a pirate is you get to pirate how you want to pirate. But I do have a daily carrie with me everywhere except ironicaly in the Courtroom where I'm not allowed to have it.

Irony is that lawyers are both the most and least piratey pirates to pirate.

We're full of contradictions.