My dog is old and deteriorating. The last few days I have been nursing a sudden pain episode that doesn't seem to be caused by anything other than further deterioration of her joints. I have had very little sleep as she wouldn't leave me alone, panting and clingy. If the pain meds don't bring back good days, or if there are more bad days than good, I'm going to have to decide to put her down.

It feels like far too much power for me to decide which day she dies. But this is how it works for most dogs most of the time. I knew she would get old and die, but it is so much worse that I have to choose when.