This is very good!

nostr:nevent1qqs9ptlyhpq3fdgdelrfeqa6ev9zshqdqqgqaurctudcxkhlk0nqxeqpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduhsygpgfjdmd3xkr4zua3zwtenaxwvu6quuuljvmwyealmz3zqw8fwtpgpsgqqqqqqs095mnj

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this touched me very deeply. i grew up with a mother who only cared about appearances and a father who complied with this "Ward and June Cleaver" idea of people and family. (both #babyboomers)

i fought it from a very young age.

at one point in this video i felt ASMR and nearly cried. if i am honest writing this, i still feel this.

my maternal grandparents were my parents and loved me no matter what. they saved my life in a sense from their own daughter. my maternal grandmother is dead and has been for many years and yet she is still here with me as i write this and she is still my best friend.

#personal #touched #intimate #real

I hope this was a reminder of more good than bad for you.

it's bigger than good and bad. there is even forgiveness in it. it's in a fair bit of my writing.

i want to write more about it but it is extremely difficult to convey the feelings around it and also risky.

the number of people who instantly hate people who say something like this about parents is frightening.

But... I think it needs to be said, not for the haters, but for those who are like you and maybe need a reminder that leads them to forgive and heal.

yeah. it's why i practice and it is why i push, even others to see right through it all... their own stuff for them, totally customized. how can it possibly end up any other way.

maybe this is the beginning of the book i want to write.

Dooooooo iiiiiiiit.

I just might. The Nostr community has been a positive influence on my life. If I do do it, it is in part a result of people who use Nostr. Especially #Christians who don't shun me and see the similarities rather than magnifying minute differences. 💘💪

I feel the same way about my fellow nostriches. I'd likely still be a fat mess on the way to an early grave without them. 💚🫂

I'll share this poem by Ven. Thích Nhất Hạnh, deceased 2022. He is my grandfather in the Dharma, the teacher of one of my 2 teachers. He also gave me the lay ordination name "True Sacred Vulture" (I use my Diamond Sangha lay ordination name on here "Sacred Peak"). Both are referring to Vulture peak.

If you understand this poem, you understand that which is essential regardless what faith you do or do not practice or belong to.

https://www.parallax.org/mindfulnessbell/article/poem-please-call-me-by-my-true-names/

I'm... Too literal in many ways to enjoy/understand/appreciate much poetry.

I like yours. That poem is so far out of my context that it is wasted on me.

he's pointing to nonduality. he is a butterfly and each and every thing else. he even includes what people would label as very bad as himself. he is pointing to no separation, embodying it, and not apologizing. he is saying he is the little girl in the poem as much as the aggressor as much as a butterfly as much as each other thing in the poem.

that will help. it's a brilliant poem. i think a certain person from long ago whose name begins with J would be eyebrow to eyebrow with TNH if he read it.

I struggle with non-duality as much as I hate false dichotomies, as seen in the Postmodern uses of the Hegelian dialectic to move along the satanic pedo death cult's agenda.

Drawing empathetic parallels is good, though. But I do disagree, fundamentally, with much of the even modern (using this is the historical context of naturalism or materialism) views of the things that are being what they are. English is such a crap language to discuss being, but it is the only one I have any command of. I'm all the poorer for it.

to get it is simple, drop all ideas and concepts. but simple doesn't mean easy.

if you are what he says he is as you read, you are eyebrow to eyebrow with TNH, eyebrow to eyebrow with the world.

if you aren't yet, don't worry about it. you actually are there already.

All that went over my head, so I'm not eyebrow to eyebrow with anyone... 😅

yeah you are. you're here with me talking about stuff. eyebrow to eyebrow. #intimacy

honestly. this is is a very large part why i practice Zazen. the events of my life led me to seek. and for that i am grateful, even for the pain.

that may sound odd but it is the truth. the

i have found that it's best not to reinterpret people's pain. please just hear me. i'm not looking for advice or sympathy.

i made my peace with this a long time ago however some feelings are pretty much forever.