I once told my bully he had the dick, brain and self-control of a toddler.
He beat the crap out of me, but it still brings a smile to my face.
Discussion
We had a bully on the bus, who was a few years above us, and used to grab us in a head lock and wrap his knuckles across our heads. We used to take it in turns to mock him - I don’t know why, but it was kinda funny.