I am pretty confident we still need better tools for this. Should be pretty simple to make an app that can check relay Healy like nostr.watch but also recommend relays based on your npub. I don’t know if it exists though
Discussion
Relay health*
My general strategy is to keep my paid relays and 4-5 public relays that I know are running performant software (strfry) or have dedicated devs that I trust. This of course requires more research