Computers don't actually understand English, tho.

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Maybe. Not yet.

THEY'RE CALCULATORS, SIR.

You’re pointing to calculators and calling them calculators, there’s absolute truth in that. But to say that “they can only be calculators” and they shall stay in that way, that is an entirely different statement.

They're called "computers" because they compute. They are adding machines. They just add very very fast, now.

Good grief.