Agree with Rojo- the wee ones want to feel safe and connected-close, you and mom need sleep. Don’t let the “experts” get in the way of doing what your kids and family need. Instead of letting them cry it out, I always tried to hug it out. No words, no rationalizing (even with 6,7,8 year olds) but strong hugs/holding/embrace and maybe some humming usually helped calm to sleep. Best of luck!