It sucks to end up alone in your 40s after you signed up for "til death do us part." It's hard to even imagine who you'd want to meet when you're a socially awkward contrarian who is only into fringe things. Dating apps are a nightmare. I made a profile on one yesterday and already deleted it today. That's not how I'd want to meet someone.

Sorry, I'm just venting. It's lonely here on my planet sometimes and it's a total catch-22 because I'm extremely unhappy, which would possibly be improved by having someone to spend time with, but I also feel like it's not fair to even try to bring someone into the mess until I can sort it out a bit more.