For Lightning Network, using a custodial wallet is the way 99.9% of new Bitcoiners start. A self-custodial Bitcoin mainnet wallet makes sense from the outset, but not for Lightning Network wallet. The important thing for users to know about LN custodial wallets is not to store more than they'd typically carry in a physical wallet walking down the street.
I agree there are a lot of toxic Bitcoiners who scare people away from financial sovereignty and freedom. Such people are probably annoying in-person too.