One thing I only talked about in that NIP-44 proposal PR that I think would fix 99% of the problems is allowing people to choose in which relays they want to receive DMs and have other clients publish DMs _only_ to these.
Because of the increased interest in encrypted chat recently, I decided to put together a survey of different proposals with a summary of their common ideas. The goal is to allow us to 1. decouple different use cases from another, but keep a shared core that devs can build on, 2. get us all behind one proposal, and 3. pack everything into that proposal that is needed for good UX and privacy.
Please take a look and leave comments/corrections, and tag anyone else working on an implementation.
https://gist.github.com/staab/f8284af12450dbbdcead6e0c3ed95e2c
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Discussion
Yeah, maybe a worthwhile addition to nip 65