I loved this article... This writer is awesome. Like, he's better at being me than I am. I'm a little worried he might be in the covid cult, but that's a minor point, considering.
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/Wg6ptgi2DupFuAnXG/orienting-toward-wizard-power
Also gotta say... The comments section in this obscure website I've never heard of puts nostr to shame. Now **_those_** are some mthfkg conversations! A lot are kinda pretentious, but that's still better than the mostly crickets over here...
I get this. For me it just takes going to the basement. There you will find a home office with four large bookcases and a huge U shaped desk for my wife and I. It is all very nice, designed in CAD to the last screw and built, sanded, stained and installed in a room I finished from wiring to paint. It is the nicest place in the house.
But today the thought of doing a 100th of that tires me out.
There are many more things I used to be able to dream into existence, but time changes priorities. I still dream of that workshop/lab. I dream of Cathedrals on Mars and solving problems in math and physics. But those dreams no longer get me excited, it is all vanity and a striving after the wind.
That isn't to say those things aren't good, but I have a family now, also my body and mind are starting to betray me. All the wonders of the universe are not going to be enough for me now.
I do think I will reclaim the fire eventually but it lies on the far side of integrating those dreams into a larger eternal purpose.
To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven.
The season will come back. Don't stress or strain over it. It'll be back in its own correct time.
Also that's awesome that you did that.
I think I should strain a bit. Letting Christ transform our dreams is key. The things of this world are good, but until they serve His purpose they will miss the mark.
This is why Michealangelo could do such amazing things. We have talented artists today but their very best just falls flat.
I'd 1000x prefer to be a Michaelangelo than a Basquiat.
Testosterone is a massive driver of motivation levels. Low T causes low motivation. It also causes brain fog and a variety of other "aging" symptoms including slow healing. There are non TRT ways to improve your levels too.
Your family deserves a better version of you. Classic parenting mistake to focus entirely on others to the point that there ends up being less of you to give. You can't keep others warm by setting yourself on fire, not for very long anyway.
Those projects around the house aren't even anti family. How are your kids going to learn those skills if not hands on with dad?
Take care of yourself first. Your body and your mind. Then when you go back to your family you will be a better version of you.
There is an old book that delves into these Archetypes called "King Warrior Magician Lover". You might enjoy the read....
Heard of it. Still haven't read it, though. I'll stick it in a cart for when I'm ready for more books
