I got pulled over in my big truck once, just south of Houston. Highway patrolman straight outta Central Casting. Big belly, THICK Southern accent, 10 gallon hat...the whole 9.

I asked "What'd I do, officer?!"

He just smiled and rested his hand on his giant revolver. (Not as a threat, just kinda absentmindedly).

"Nothin' a-tall' he said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

He pulled a toothpick out of his mouth and used it as a pointer.

"Yuze just the first one to come over that hill" then he snickered menacingly and pulled out the ticket book