It’s funny watching the same kids who once screamed “Not your keys, not your coins” now pitching “Bitcoin yield products” to the very institutions they swore to burn down.

These were the early adopters — broke college rebels with zero exposure to TradFi, zero incentive to play nice. They built the foundation of self-sovereignty and open verification. But as soon as their fiat score started to matter — the house, the fund, the fancy letterhead — they traded freedom for fees.

Now they’re all about “Bitcoin treasuries,” “yield opportunities,” and “capital efficiency.” Translation: “We can’t resist fiat gravity, so let’s wrap Bitcoin in debt and call it innovation.”

It’s the same game, just new jargon. Custodial wrappers, rehypothecation, leverage on top of scarcity — a clown show pretending to be a monetary revolution. These people aren’t advancing Bitcoin; they’re extracting from it. They’re trying to turn an incorruptible system into another yield farm — one more layer of counterparty risk dressed up in orange marketing.

Bitcoin doesn’t yield. It withholds. It teaches patience, discipline, and sovereignty. It rewards the doers, not the middlemen.

So when I see these so-called “Bitcoin capital allocators” bragging about yield, I see the same old parasites — just with cooler merch and laser eyes. They didn’t join Bitcoin to escape the system. They joined to rebuild it in their own image, with themselves on top this time.

Congratulations, gentlemen. You’ve turned freedom money into a financial product.