part of the problem is the relays don't respond to a "close" envelope by disconnecting either, that's also not in the spec, hoooeeee

there isn't actually a "close the socket" message in the protocol, at least no semantics are clear for this

the clients are so frickin dumb that if they keep asking for dumbshit the best way to respond with your relay is to literally just drop their messages and leave the socket open otherwise you have to deal with them dialing in again and again and again