I absolutely hate that Aqua doesn't have a sats option tho (as of last time I checked). Blitz wallet is pretty close for a non-custodial LN/Liquid solution, just needs some more time in the oven.

The kind of person I'm talking about here is NEVER going to use a Coldcard, Jade, etc. They're not gonna use a desktop wallet. They NEED an excellent option for mobile that is very hard to fuck up. If I felt they could use a hardware wallet I would obviously recommend that but I really dont think that's the right approach for them (even a Bitkey may be too much).

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Then their only option is the risk that comes with a hot wallet. That's fine for amounts they don't mind losing, but if they are planning to stack any amount that would hurt, and again, consider it to be worth 10x more than it is right now, then they are going to have to learn to use a hardware wallet, or they are going to learn the hard way by losing their sats.