Some very fine points, and a great discussion, I would add that as our gender matters less we in western society will continue to beat this dead horse on terminology. The Hindu caste system is one way to deal with such questions.

As a free person, I do not care what you do or take into your body as long as it creates no pain for anyone else. As @bitcoinbelle mentioned the areas where an injury is being inflicted, mainly again women, need to continue to be brought to attention as much of the injustice is centuries old.

The most important thing is rape and sexual assault are first a power dynamic, not a sex dynamic. As ones gender nor sex has anything to do with these acts.