I think the expectation that deep romantic feeling will exist for every couple for all or most of the span of their relationship, is a very modern construct

In the agrarian world I think more emphasis was placed on what a couple could build (family, farm, business, legacy) and less on how the felt

That said, it’s obviously important, especially to women, that this feeling exist, at least early on, as a wellspring of positive regard toward her partner for her to draw from later, when the feeling has faded. Helps her to feel she made the right choice. At least done correctly.

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It seems to come and go in waves. Sometimes, you think it's dead and it suddenly comes roaring back, inexplicably.

Like seasons, where it’s ok that everything is dead in the winter?

Yeah. It's actually not dead; just hibernating.

The ease of separation during lows reduces the potential highs, I suspect. So, the height of the highs will partly be a reflection of the perceived permanence of the pairing.

Some people are lindy.

The catch I found was that some of the more passionate relationships I had in my life often had the least potential to build anything lasting

Balancing trusting your feelings with using your brain is what it’s all about

I think differently about passion. I count deeper, less-feverish emotions, now. Profound emotions, including things like security and certainty.