The client (app) is just reading the relays. You note, block a npub, change your profile, etc and it is universal as it spreads from relay to relay.

Short answer, you only have to do it on one client and it carries over

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I appreciate that.

Also you connected a dot for me that it’s the relays which do the heavy lifting.

Therefore, the only reason I can think of that different apps would display different data (ie npub, notes, DM’s, zap records…)

Is because a particular node doesn’t support a particular NIP? (Although the ones I just mentioned seem basic)

If all (3 of) my apps have the same relays…why is my experience fragmented?

Each client will make use of different NIPS as well.

What is fractured? What's different that you're trying to figure out?

So DM’s for one… Primal and Damus seem to be the most accurate but when I tried 0xChat and YakiHonne DM’s started not relaying (Primal and Damus were missing messages)

Across Primal, Damus, and YakiHonne not all note and reply notifications are consistent and zaps notifications either.

Lastly sometimes if I want to tag someone they pull up in one app but not another…

So I’m having to bounce between 3 apps to “catch it all”

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Other than that it is UX issues and the benefit of having 2 apps to easily grab a note id or npub to copy paste into a note or reply I’m drafting on the first app…

But I’d love for the fragmentation to go away. That’s my biggest frustration (hurdle) at this point

Yeah. So DMs on nostr are notoriously hit or miss. You're going to get them but might be a delay. May be in your inbox but no notification or may have already read it but getting a new notification anyway.

Same with the other notifications. Jumping between multiple clients makes it worse. Some relays are recording that you acknowledged that one but not the other and they are not synched then the other client is loading one relay and not the other, etc.

The (at) is more on the client side. Some have a better faster integration than others.

Welcome to nostr. It's still new technology and pieced together by volunteers all with different ideas on how the code should work. It's amazing how much smoother everything is now compared to a year or two ago. It will continue to improve with time but some of those things are just because it is all decenterlized and not all coming from a single server or provider.

Using your key pair is not logging into your "account" cached somewhere on a single server. You are pinging a entire network of relays scattered all over the planet running from someones house or cloud account. Everything will eventually be received and synched with every relay but a time gap will exist. It used to be much worse but more relays and better relay code is smoothing that out.

Thanks for the detailed reply and engagement!

Do you have a preferred (recommended) iOS client?

(I do not recall if I already mentioned this to you but I’m bouncing between YakiHonne (about to ditch that as it’s the least accurate and too many UI leading to UX issues), Damus, and Primal.

For example this reply came on Primal but not Damus…

If I can get my lightning node (and thus wallet solved) on Damus, theoretically I could go 100% there and only access Primal for double checking I didn’t miss anything and looking up npub and note IDs to paste into Damus