A friend just reached out to me with this story which I immediately added to my book.

"Yet even more heartbreaking is watching this programming install in real-time through modern parenting approaches. Recently, a friend witnessed this cycle perpetuating itself during a simple encounter. He was with a couple and their young child who was crying in a stroller. When he instinctively offered to comfort the distressed baby, the mother refused, explaining she didn't want to create an "attachment"—that responding to crying would teach the child to "manipulate" adults.

My friend was shocked but didn't know how to respond. The mother had likely been raised the same way—taught that you don't "spoil" children, that you need to "break" them so they don't control their parents through their needs. She was following parenting rules designed to create independence through systematic disconnection.

That baby was learning in real-time: "When I'm distressed, no one comes. My needs don't matter. I'm alone in my suffering. Love is conditional on my behaviour." The fundamental disconnect → worthlessness → programming cycle was being installed before our eyes.

The tragic irony? The mother believed she was being a good parent, following expert advice to create a "strong, independent" child. In reality, she was unconsciously transmitting the same abandonment trauma she'd likely experienced, genuinely believing it would help her child thrive. This is how the generational cycle perpetuates—hurt people hurting people while trying to do the right thing."