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I think this is a benefit of meeting and having a baby later in life. I worked for 25 years, did the savings, the travel, whatever. Now I’m like, “yep happy to be home with the babe.” I do work two mornings from our home office, but it’s so I can buy ridiculous skin care, enter races, buy bitcoin. 😉

Laeserin 1y ago

Oh, I agree.

If you stay at home with your kids in your 40s, then you're a loving mom.

Do it in your 20s and it's like LOL GET A DAMN JOB.

And now I'm in my 40s and everyone expects me to have a glamorous career, but I'm still tied to the home. Once you're a mom, you're a mom, and then you're stuck in post-homemaking "pretend to have a career, but don't take on any activity that keeps you from cooking dinner and doing the ironing, or requires you to travel more than 30 minutes from the house" for decades thereafter.

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ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

as a long time bachelor i can confirm that while i am capable of doing the linen and the ironing and the washing and the dishes and the mopping and sweeping... i'm a pro, actually, one of the fastest cleaners you will find, i'm far better at abstract logic and algorithms

speaking as a man, based on my ample experiences of wonderful, motherly women who i have had the pleasure of being part of my daily experienc:

fuck all those stupid people

as a woman, that feeling you get when the men are happy and do their dull, brutal expressions of appreciation for your careful art of domestic duties even at your low points

that's what it's all about

and these other stupid women just have never had that hole filled and it's the one that they have aching most of all, and they don't even know it

Honey Badger Studio 1y ago

There is definitely this expectation. My friends who had their babies in their twenties all went back to work within 6mos. Some because they had to financially. Others because they felt it was their identity or that they wouldn’t be respected.

I do feel like there is an entirely different set of expectations once the kids are in school or out of the house. You must be productive and be available 24/7.

Even though my little is still little, “im like do you want a clean house and a raging bitch or a semi clean house and a happy loving partner?” Mamma’s got to do her things too!

Laeserin 1y ago

A semi-clean house sounds pretty good, now.

I was working for a year and my house seems to have been hit by a tornado, in the meantime. I didn't even notice, while I was working and now I'm slowly cleaning and repairing everything and just cringing.

I had those pants waiting to be repaired since last summer. I just stopped seeing them, at some point.

And some of the bureau drawers are so stuffed with paper and crap that I can't open them. I kept buying scissors and pens because we couldn't find scissors and pens and I bet there are now a gazillion scissors and pens in those drawers.

And we're eating real food every day, again. I put on over 20 lbs while working. I was so exhausted that I just ate constantly. As soon as I stopped working, the cravings disappeared and I could sleep, again. I was eating myself to death and drinking two glasses of wine every night, just to fall asleep.

I'm so depressed looking at the mess. How could I let everything decay like that? I was like a zombie.