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How do we talk about the Faith to people who talk about never being able to "feel" God?

A friend of mine who has drifted away from the Faith said that, every time he prayed, he never felt like anyone was listening on the other end.

A somewhat dismissive–though possibly true–response is that sin can easily get in the way of our ability to experience God in our lives. If you're entangled with some habitual sin, then yeah, it's going to be hard to receive grace in prayer and the sacraments.

I don't think that response does sufficient justice to this experience, though. St. John of the Cross writes about the "dark night of the soul" where God allows a person progressing far in holiness to feel completely cut off from Him. St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Theresa of Calcutta both experienced periods in their life of feeling cut off from God in prayer, even though they are some of the greatest saints of the modern age.

Closer to home, I'd say I have some subjective experience of God's grace in prayer at times, but I wouldn't say it's very emotional the way some people talk about it. My wife, for her part, has been a consistently practicing Catholic all her life and hasn't really felt anything in the way of subjective emotional experience in prayer. Is there something about modernity that makes it harder to "feel" God? Is it something to do with different individuals' temperaments and how they relate to God? How do we talk about the faith with people who want a relationship with God, but never have any subjective experience of that relationship? Is there any approach beyond just making an act of the will towards faith?

Nobody 2y ago

I think a small part of the answer might be in how Jesus taught His disciples to pray. He began with, "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name." I feel more connected to God in prayer when I start with slowing myself down, remembering that God is ruler of angels and ministering angels, gloriously enthroned far above in a scene that is powerful but I can't even imagine. He made a way through His Son Jesus Christ that all who call on His name may be saved. Sometimes beginning prayer with genuine gratitude is a good practice when the first doesn't work.

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Discussion

MichaelJ 2y ago

I agree. Prayer starts with recognizing God for who He is, ourselves for who we are, and offering gratitude and prayer to our Creator.

So then how do we introduce that idea to people who, maybe on their childhood or teen years, tried to do just that, and gave up because it didn't seem to be "working"?

The Beave 2y ago

By telling them that no one cares about their feelings and to grow up. God isn't a vending machine that you say X number of prayers to and get Y out of. This feelings based transactional mindset is straight from the pits of hell.

Nobody 2y ago

It's idolatry for sure if you're after the transaction.

Nobody 2y ago

Maybe there's other church practices that help them? I get nothing from corporate worship (in the form of singing) most of the time, but occasionally I still feel like God drops a thought there for me in the midst of it.

I don't think we need to go quite to sin blocking the communication channels either. My most powerful prayers that I felt as though God prayed with me, were for others in situations that I know God cares about but I was powerless. I learnt about those situations because I was actively involved in ministry. We are in a war for our souls and contending for the souls of others. Prayer is a battlefield walkie-talkie we can't expect much of we use it to ask for a comfy bed and a pizza to be delivered.