If you can make them choose (and explain what's going on) sure. But if not, just put them on semi-random list and but let them change later. The most important part is to get them in, and help them setup when they are ready.

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On that note how does amerthyst know what my relays even are? I assume its a hardcoded bootstrap? Would make sense if that can be configured on first boot and is then cached.

We keep your lists in the local storage, but otherwise we search for it via bootstrap+ event hints.

But what if in theory the default relays are blocked or broken? Would we be able to custom connect to get the bootstrap over with?

Pretty much.