Perhaps it's because inbox/outbox isn't properly implemented anywhere. If you don't write to the biggest relays (and you don't, you write to TheForest and a few others, and let broadcasting carry your notes to other relays), other people who are using the big relays will lose your posts in the noise.
TheForest is using negentropy, so you can see what's going on in the rest of Nostr, but they can't see you—I don't think most relays are using negentropy.
The way it probably _should_ work is everyone has a large number of "app relays." Those store your profile data so you can move seamlessly between clients.
Everyone should have a smaller number of inbox relays, probably mostly topical or community-based, but anyone who wants to @ you would just post to one of your inbox relays and you'd see it immediately.
Lastly, I could imagine needing only one outbox relay. Your profile lists the outbox, so people know where to find your posts.
In a follow-based feed, the client should be smart enough to query different relays based on your follows' outbox lists.
Yeah, probably have to write directly to megarelays, to be seen.
The note simply residing on the relay has no effect, apparently.
It’s a good problem to solve. It can be partially ameliorated by publishing your relay as part of a nip05 profile. Clients should be smart enough to figure this out and pull down your events.
In many cases, you might not want the world to know about where you publish your events. That’s ok, too.
