I've spent the entire day trying to figure out how to write and read from different relays in Nostrudel and Amethyst and it's an unstable, fidgety nightmare.

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Amethyst has a very complex configuration screen for relays (lots of options) that took me a long time to feel like I understood what I was configuring.

I haven’t messed with relays in nostrudel.

You could try https://metadata.nostr.com/ which also has the advantage of backing all that up in case something goes wrong?