My soon wife is scared to have kids because i sleep so easily and so deeply 🫠

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the second part of this is so true..

i have literally slept on without blinking with my iPhone alarm blasting next to my ear for a solid 30 minutes 😂

It will be your superpower. Your wife will be jealous, because momma bear instincts kick in and they can hear a pin drop a mile away.

Can’t count the number of couch naps I’ve had with my kids sitting on me. You’ll be fine. 😂

I’ve only dropped two out of four. Funny enough, the two that fell are the smartest….

Shakes all the right things loose. 😂

😂

Ser are you listening to tool’s whole discography on shuffle 🫨

😂

Usually in album order. Sometimes you need a little chaos. 🤙🏻

I live too permissionless to allow you to allow it. 😜

your daily disallowance has arrived 😂