Yes you can selfhost via tor if desired
Prob best to put it on your own VPS
Discussion
What VPS do you recommend? Self hosted, public IP? Or a service like tailscale?
AWS, Digital Ocean, LunaNode (they take Bitcoin), etc.
Give a search and you'll find many other options
Will checkout LunaNode wanted to avoid AWS, DO, cloudflared or other invasive, KYC'd options, thanks!
I don't think headscale will work over tor, the clients would need to be on tor to connect, which makes tailscale moot. Headscale is meant to be on a public IP/DNS.