nostr:npub14eng8plhflea40cu3lafnw6nwkxsp5te2v7hzy74lz6a9mjhpaks0wm4rw well, it's not so much that i wish for more strife necessarily, but i'd trade away some comfort in return for more heart.

nostr:npub14eng8plhflea40cu3lafnw6nwkxsp5te2v7hzy74lz6a9mjhpaks0wm4rw you must understand that i'm in a situation where i'm not loved by anyone - including family (death and other things caused that to happen). i'm very much on my own. and i'm not good at operating independently.

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nostr:npub14eng8plhflea40cu3lafnw6nwkxsp5te2v7hzy74lz6a9mjhpaks0wm4rw my current situation is that i'm kept alive by the welfare system here, but i have no opportunities appearing for me, and all i do on most days is wake up in my apartment and then i just sit there.

You are from a stalwart, principled, persistent culture. Being single and unattached can be a real asset. Gather your convictions and find a way to engage them, likely you will meet people who fuel you and you them symbiotically. I believe there is a gamut of personalities in any culture, even one as homogeneous as Norway. Somewhere out there, a person is sitting in an apartment thinking the same thing. Get out there and find them. It will save you both.

I hope with all my being that you find deep friendship and love in your life. I have only my nuclear family for similar reasons as yours, I have been in a similar place. Keep believing, in the meantime, know that there is a supportive community here, and people, myself included who enjoy your presence and opinions here. Hang in there!