True love is having a relationship with someone that’s compatible and making it work. It’s about optimizing the relationship, not the partner. Someone else might seem better on the surface but if you don’t work on the relationship it won’t be better. Obviously, I’m excluding cases of abuse and domestic violence. Making it work and building it will always be better. Plus it takes some time to assess if the person is good for you or not. I wouldn’t see myself doing a test run of multiple months (read a year) to assess if that relationship has potential.
Discussion
Do you love your children differently from your partner?
Of course. Different people. Different relationships. Even the children I would argue, since they’re at such different developmental stages
My view is that relationships are a medium in which value is transacted. Your wife can try to “love” you as much as she wants but if you stop delivering on your responsibilities then she’s going to leave that relationship. If you cheat on her, turn into a bum, or abuse her then she will stop loving you. You won’t stop loving your children no matter what they do. That’s real love.
https://video.nostr.build/7b94460fb17e7bc3aea59dd62a3f96b32ce8cc936366f8c73aa9d41e64ccc6f5.mp4
My view is that all relationships are work. You have to put in work for the relationships to flourish. Whether it’s with a partner or a child. Both are different yes but there are definitely things that a parent can do or a child that would break the relationship/love. All of them are real though. Work and certain things that can break it doesn’t mean they’re not real love (for the partner or the child)