Have you tried just showering her with love? A lot of people, myself included, say and do a lot of stupid things when we are young. Young people are more susceptible to programming, let her be wrong for a while and love her anyway. Did you do everything perfect, as a parent? Homeschool, pass along freedom mindset, teach self reliant skills? Chances are you made a mistake or two along the way. Give her a chance to make her mistakes and feel loved anyway. The same way kids love parents, despite our mistakes.

Maybe you do need some distance or to set healthy boundaries. A lot of young women go through a phase where they are just mean. They will say anything they can to hurt you. It’s a normal part of development. Nature designed human parents and children to separate at some point and sometimes it’s painful.

One of my daughters and I had a very difficult relationship from the time she was about 15 to about 30. After a couple of years of fighting I developed a strategy to protect myself while still loving her. Whenever she would start attacking me I would say something like “I love you, if you ever have a real emergency you can always call me,” Then I would get in the car and drive away until she went to bed or left the house once she was older.

This takes patience and practice. You are the parent and your job of leading by example does not end just because your child’s age is a certain number. You will screw up, just keep trying. Don’t get discouraged or frustrated. If this doesn’t work, try new things. Whenever an approach I tried would fail I would say to myself “What can I do that protects me and still allows her to love me?”