Replying to 95bc07f3...

My brain has been working overtime, I’ve written 3 essays in 2 days. Strap yourself in, or on… whatever 🤷‍♀️

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RETURN ON INVESTMENT

or, SISYPHUS vs VENUS

Last night I realized that my transition took about as long as it would take former me to write and produce an album of music, but transition has already given me more than a lifetime of making music ever did.

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#trans #transition #TransJoy
95
95bc07f3... 2y ago

Before I cracked, music was what I hid behind. I wrote songs, sang & played in bands, was a DJ, worked in a record store, was a recording artist.

Being a musician was my whole identity, what I clung to to rescue me from a shitty life. It often just drained my soul and my bank account as I desperately poured myself into it, getting little in return. The most I got from it was making a few special friends along the way, but looking back it was a huge distraction.

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95
95bc07f3... 2y ago

I hid there because I couldn’t face myself. Couldn’t deal with all my pain and confusion. Music was cathartic, but even as a songwriter I could never dig deep enough to get to the heart of the problem. So I wrote songs that were mostly veiled metaphor, even from myself.

I believe my lack of true authenticity was detectable on some level by my audience and while I had devoted fans, I could never build anything substantial.

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