Replying to 95bc07f3...

Before I cracked, music was what I hid behind. I wrote songs, sang & played in bands, was a DJ, worked in a record store, was a recording artist.

Being a musician was my whole identity, what I clung to to rescue me from a shitty life. It often just drained my soul and my bank account as I desperately poured myself into it, getting little in return. The most I got from it was making a few special friends along the way, but looking back it was a huge distraction.

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95bc07f3... 2y ago

I hid there because I couldn’t face myself. Couldn’t deal with all my pain and confusion. Music was cathartic, but even as a songwriter I could never dig deep enough to get to the heart of the problem. So I wrote songs that were mostly veiled metaphor, even from myself.

I believe my lack of true authenticity was detectable on some level by my audience and while I had devoted fans, I could never build anything substantial.

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95bc07f3... 2y ago

My last album was the closest I got to true expression, and looking back, to me it seems pretty eggy. It was definitely filled with pain, such that my friends asked if I was okay.

My egg cracked about 6 months after it came out, but I was well on my way before then. Most of those songs were written a year or two earlier, some even longer. (I was already working on its follow up when I cracked, and that album was, frankly, gay as hell.)

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