Today, my son and his cousin were playing. When my son took away his cousin's toy, I said, "We need to share."

My wife pointed out that, as adults, we don't really ever share anything. We have our own cars, our own phones, etc. Realizing she was right, I instantly pivoted to teaching him the importance of private property.

"We have to respect private property rights, you know," I told him. "It's how capitalism works."

Then, I heard the bullshit coming out of my mouth and pivoted again.

"Of course, all private property is theft," I added. "And the proletariat must seize the means of production!"

He looked at me for a moment, then crawled over to yet another one of his million toys and happily ignored his weird pseudo-Marxist father.