I agree, the approach is key. I think if we were in closer proximity things might be different, but we live on opposite sides of the planet and I’d want to have that conversation in person.

Fortunately, even though we aren’t close, he’s been there for advice when I needed him and he was tolerant with young radical me. I’m thankful that both my parents separated like mature adults and never used me for leverage. I had plenty of friends who experienced that.

I’m happy you have a closer relationship with your parents and those struggles made you a better person.

Not sure if you have kids, but they are an amazing mirror and have the, seemingly, inherent ability to turn us into our parents.