Hi. I'm a little late to this post, but I just wanted to offer my condolences🫂.

Both my parents are still alive but I feel as if I can help by telling you how I coped with my wife's death. We were married for 11 years💑.

1. It's different for all and everyone handles grief differently. After being discharged, I felt kind of "hollow" for a pretty long period of time, feeling as if I wasted ten years fighting in wars that were never meant to end. My wife and kids were really the only thing that helped me assimilate back into the real world after becoming so detached from everything. After that, I was very happy for the next four years or so, but all of that emptiness returned after her death. I DID NOT handle it well, at all, and, tbh, I'm still a bit ashamed of how I acted in front of my kids, at times (something I can only hope that they don't remember). Then I started drinking very heavily (something I'm not proud of), again, for a little while until my parents, sister, and friends helped me get back on the right path. Tbh, I didnt really care much, at first, for their emotional support, I didn't really find it comforting, but rather bothersome. But, they did convince me to quit drinking during the grieving process, which helped a lot. And it wasn't until after that that I really started to think more clearly, and came to realize that my wife would be furious at me if I just lied around, drank, and sulked 24/7 in a state of self-pity. So, I did my best to get everything back to normal with my kids, like taking them to school and sports practice and stuff. But, even to this day I still feel a little of that hollowness from her death. The point is that you might never feel whole again, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Feeling that way so long after someone's death just proves how much you still love them. Dealing with grief in a way that you know is healthy for yours and others well-being is how you become "real" again☺️🫂.

2. Staying sober and constantly thinking about how my wife would care for our children if I was the one that died. And finally, just living everyday life with my kids. Doing a bunch of normie stuff and all that with them and friends and family.