I opened your note in Incognito windows with primal and with coracle to see when my other reply would hit and more shockingly than a delay, I noticed it did not show the reply at all until I hit reload.
Discussion
But Coracle reported to have seen replies within a second on 3 relays, so ... either I have good relays or your problem isn't as dire as you made us believe it was. Either way, I wish somebody would monitor things like that. I actually have bought a domain for that and would fund engineers to work on that.
I assume you are using good relays. Most users have accepted whatever their first client has offered and many clients used to randomize relays from nostr.watch to try to decentralize the network from the bigger ones. When people don't know which relays they use, things can be quite slow.