But Coracle reported to have seen replies within a second on 3 relays, so ... either I have good relays or your problem isn't as dire as you made us believe it was. Either way, I wish somebody would monitor things like that. I actually have bought a domain for that and would fund engineers to work on that.
Discussion
I assume you are using good relays. Most users have accepted whatever their first client has offered and many clients used to randomize relays from nostr.watch to try to decentralize the network from the bigger ones. When people don't know which relays they use, things can be quite slow.