Oh, I guess your best option is to have a private channel for sure.
Okay, but lets say you know it's not bolt 12 or a router service, then you know the node id.
Can you get a list of channels from a node using the gossip network? I think yes. Especially because you can see it on an explorer. A random node example: https://1ml.com/node/039a3b0b2c86bb2b9fd5cf2c8ba52672b7fbd4b09de0031b9b7f5d76391f498f89
From that, you can see a bunch of channels and their outpoints. Those are the utxos.
Okay, so maybe you don't know WHICH one is the one you paid, but you know ALL of them partially belong to the recipient.
Bolt 12 is not so common yet, and I don't think many people think to use proxies.
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