Hidden (or covert) narcissists are the hardest to spot, mainly because they don’t exhibit obvious signs of grandiosity.
However, rest assured that they are just as grandiose as any other type of narcissist—their behavior simply manifests in a more secretive way rather than through open displays, as seen in overt narcissists.
But there is one trait all narcissists share, which makes identifying covert narcissists much easier: they are driven by hatred.
This makes them easier to detect because hatred leaves visible clues—if you know what to look for. You cannot feel hatred without an underlying urge to destroy something or someone.
That is why covert narcissists engage in tearing others down, degrading, humiliating, betraying, gossiping maliciously, inflicting emotional, mental, and even physical abuse—all with a sense of satisfaction. Their hatred fuels their actions.
So, covert narcissists are no less filled with hatred than any other form of narcissism. It’s not uncommon to come across a malignant covert narcissist—one who is highly deceitful, cunning, and deeply destructive.
The definitions of different types of narcissism can be blurry. A hidden narcissist can transform into an overt one when they find the right audience. Likewise, we often see shy, reserved narcissists explode in grandiose displays under the right conditions.
How to Identify a Hidden Narcissist
What are the telltale signs?
The most prominent indicators are an emotional tendency toward hatred and an intense need to destroy someone—in any way possible.
Unlike overt narcissists, who openly express their need to degrade others, covert narcissists do it subtly and strategically, aiming for maximum impact.
They execute their destruction through a hot-and-cold dynamic, slowly pushing you toward self-doubt and disappointment—either in yourself or in others.
You might expect them to show kindness, decency, respect, or empathy, yet they consistently fail to deliver—whether intentionally or not.
They delay commitments or break promises.
They are never there when you need them.
They ignore important things that matter to you.
They always seem “too busy” with other things.
They suddenly disappear.
They pretend to be clueless or incompetent at the worst moments.
They act deaf, blind, mute, helpless, sick, distracted—whatever serves their purpose of passive destruction.
In essence, a covert narcissist inflicts harm by doing nothing.
If you find yourself hurt, insulted, or mistreated by others, the covert narcissist will be nowhere to be found. In fact, their hatred toward you will often manifest in the most twisted way—by befriending those who hurt you, talking to them, having coffee with them, or even becoming intimate with them.
After such experiences, you will feel deep disappointment in these individuals, which is yet another clear sign that you are dealing with a covert narcissist (or a demon in disguise).
Because who else but a demon would hate and seek to destroy someone who loves them deeply and cares so much?
#narcissistabuse
#theywontbreakyou
#tiidijanecu