Tbh man. I don't think she would ever kill herself. From the picture I saw of her, she looked quite good. There's always going to be a guy wanting to do anything for her and simp over her just because of her looks.

I also don't think she's watching all of this and if she really wanted to kill herself over things like this, she would already have done it. I know girls can make you crazy and obsessive, but you really shouldn't let it consume your life like this.

I don't know you or her, but it really gets to me to hear you struggle like this..

You'd be amazed how much love and enjoyment you could have in your life if you started to work out letting this go..

I'm not telling what you should do. I'm just trying to give you advice (which you Don't have to follow if you don't want)

I just Don't think she's so suicidal or even concerned about you or this situation like you describe it.. There's a lot more women that could appreciate your love/dedication and that would treat you a lot better, but you'll only find that out once you start dealing with all of this.