Constantly shifting back and forth between wishing I knew nothing about the hidden history of our world and wanting to know everything. Where to stop?

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Or how to reset? Can you go back? Maybe the only option really is a little house on the prairie and a self sustaining ecosystem.

sounding alot like cypher from the matrix

I give him props in some capacity, but I'll stick to my red pill, no time for regrets.

Ask yourself, “who do I become when I hold this view of the world, of history, of this totalizing narrative of reality?” And then see if you like who you are when you live in the worldview that the this ‘hidden history’ affords you. Was it history that was hidden or was it aspects of your subconscious you hadn’t looked at before?