It is a matter of purpose. I do things that need to be done because I think that they need to be done, not because I think others will feel good if I do them and sometimes, it is the opposite. Does it feel good to have to discipline a wayward child? No. But it must be done. (I'm nu talking about corporal punishment, just for the record.)
Discussion
not really about purpose or duty or actions. it's about the energy behind it all. being respectful, loving, understanding. acting from integrity rather than ego.
you can do all the "right" things and still make it feel wrong. not good.