Subnostr

It's kind of rare, but I sometimes give my phone number to people I meet and want to connect with more. Usually, I'm well into the relationship development before doing this.

I'm considering giving people my #Signal username instead of my phone number. If they don't contact me, fine. If they do, they're doing it through Signal.

I'm interested in opinions on this approach. I'm thinking it through, but I have blind spots.

For context, I hate SMS and simply do not want to use it. I don't want to increase my usage. I'm also not using WhatsApp, Facebook, SnapChat, or any of the other popular apps people use.

I'm starting to question if relationships are even worth building with people who are so misaligned with my values. Maybe I've answered my own question, but I'd still like input.

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Discussion

_ 1y ago

You can give the phone number doesn’t mean you have to respond. Phones have made communication pointless, the irony! Instead it’s better having in person interactions with meaningful connections

Matt 1y ago

Why would I give my phone number knowing I likely won't respond? That's the whole point of this note.

_ 1y ago

In Kenya we only share numbers to send each other money. Not phone calls. In this age there are tons of ways to communicate without having to give someone your number and having them be a disturbing caller

Ricemoon 1y ago

That's why I use Telegram. Phone number can be hidden and you just provide a username. Good to see that Signal offers now a similar solution.

Matt 1y ago

That's not really the point here. I'm not worried about giving my number, I'm worried about people sending me SMS because that's what people naturally do with a phone number.

Ricemoon 1y ago

Interesting. I'm generally worried about giving my number. Often it's mutual and your concerns are avoided.

ChipTuner 1y ago

Would recommend, however In my experience it has taken a long time to convince some friends to use anything over FB,SC, and SMS. Most still won't and I simply refuse to answer them. They don't see it as any different than the other 4 apps they already have to chat from. That being said I have found it a bit easier in a "first time" meetup experience to convince someone to start using something like signal assuming they want to keep in contact and that's the only option you give them.

Matt 1y ago

That's what made me consider this option. Because cutting people off after they text me is a lot harder than them choosing to just never contact me by not using Signal. It's also harder to convince someone who is already talking to you through SMS, at least in my theory here. It sounds like you've tested that theory.

ChipTuner 1y ago

Exactly that! In my experience people don't like the coerced change. If it's new I've had slightly better success. Plus I think phone numbers can seem a bit more personal, depending on the interaction. I have also had success with group chats lately.

Jimmy 1y ago

I think this is the approach I'm going to start taking. At the very least I don't think I'm going to give out my phone number, not because I don't want people to contact me through that method, but more that I don't necessarily trust them to not get infected with malware or something that steals all their contact info, and my number right along with it.

There's too many things a phone number is used for, it shouldn't be used as an identifier but it is, unfortunately we have to deal with that.