Thanks for sharing the diagram.

“Bob sees Alice's notes from Relay 2

because he follows her directly,but he wouldn't be able to discover her content without following her.”

Have I got that right ?Bob followed Alice, Bob can see her notes even if he don't add relay2 ? 🤔

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No, Bob reads Alice's notes from relay 2. He does not read the global feed from relay 2, only the follow feed. But since he follows, he will see them.

I’m also confused by this.

Maybe the wording could be better. Bob follows Alice. By doing that, when Bob reads from Relay 2, Bob will get Alice's posts. Otherwise, Bob does not read any content from Relay 2, because he assumes that the global feed (accounts he does not follow) is full of spam.

“Follow” just means that you will ask a relay for this npub's posts directly, because you trust them to not be spam.

Look at this:“What happens if I'm not connected to the same relays someone else is? You won't be able to communicate with that person. ”

i get that:in order to see each other's events, they must add at least one shared relay?🤔

Reference:https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nostr

Yes you need at least one shared relay. In the example, Alice and Bob share Relay 2. I didn't draw the lines, but Chad could share Relay 2 as well, he still wouldn't be able to see Alice unless he follows her npub explicitly.

Bob and Chad have 2 shared relays, but Bob writes to R3 and reads Chad's posts from R4. Chad writes to R4 and reads Bob's posts from R3.