I just embrace sucking at most things I do. I view it as managing expectations.

Good luck. The change is worth it, but sucking is much easier.

The less I suck, the less I try harder, and then I end up sucking even more, so then I end trying harder.

Me too. I feel this way about being a dad and always try to be a decent human. There's all kinds of shit I'm interested in and like but suck at I guess it's all in the context and as long as you're 1% better than before you're doing solid